Grateful (not)Dead

I almost died last night. Texting on my phone, all caught up in my own little world. Looked at the text, looked up, the light just went green, I step, a red double decker¬† comes from the left, swirling right around me, taking the sharpest little turn possible under the laws of physics, passing me, stopping. All the tourists on the top deck turn their melted faces back at me,cheering in shock, amused, smiling, screaming, looking angry, looking mad and happy at the same time. I am still under the influence of what had just happened, continue crossing the street. Allen street, China town,New York City. I was looking for 115 Hester street to go see the contact sheets of the art photography I had just been a part of in the deserts of Utah, nude, honest, strong and beautiful, connecting with the nature, hugging the ancient formations, crying out my fears, sharing my contentment, exchanging energies. I proceed onto Grand Street, making a left, making a right, recognizing the destination but passing the building number for no particular reason. Head is still in the cloud of dazed confusion and general unawareness. A weird looking, elder and slender guy resembling Keith Richards is smoking a cigarette outside of 117 Hester. He gives me a look, perhaps trying to help finding the address. “I like your hat,” he says. “Can I take a picture?”….He lifts up a serious looking camera off his chest, hands me the shiny round sun reflector. Look up, look down, turn your face to me, chin up, to the left, to the right, no, right there, close your eyes until I tell you, test, open your eyes, gorgeous! A godly looking model guy comes out of the door, I’m convinced I’m at the right address. The photographer says that if I google greatest American photographers, his name will come up. He repeats his name out loud twice, but only the first part, Max stays in my head. Last name sounded German or Jewish. Figuring I can now find him and get the damn picture that they liked so much, I try to keep on looking for the building number. “Who are you with?”, he says, “for modeling?”. “Oh, I make music”, “Here’s my card”. That must’ve been the last free vista buseness card out of the 250 stack I ordered a year ago.¬† I proceed with my destination search when Xavior’s Barcelonian greeting cry reaches my ear. Here he is. I can’t wait to tell him about the life changing past ten minutes of my life. The pictures were so beautiful, my eyes watered.
Nothing matters more than being alive. Just an extra second of breathing this air. Calm down, everything is alright no matter if you stressed or not. Things are still gonna go the same way, independently of what you might be experiencing emotionally. I wrote a fucking song about it, and still don’t get it? “Be Here Now” it’s called http://anyaskidan.bandcamp.com/track/be-here-now .Pleasure and pain and loss and gain, shame and fame are all the same, just be here now. Stressed out and desperate ten minutes ago, now forever grateful, grabbing onto the last thing left, love. All the struggle in the world for this one moment, in stinky China town, inhaling the fumes of sewage, human urine and automobile smog. Still beautiful, still organic, still life. We have taken ourselves here, better enjoy now. No body else’s fault but our own, Zeppelin wailed. You might be between point A and B in life, but you are healthy and you are breathing. Stop, think, breath, and carry on. 2012, time for a change, can’t expect things to go the same way the did. In this accelerated time, tune your frequencies to the sound of the present by being honest with thyself.

20 thoughts on “Grateful (not)Dead

  1. I was wondering if you ever considered changing the structure of your blog?

    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
    But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better.
    Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 pictures.
    Maybe you could space it out better?

    • Thanks for the feedback, will definitely take into consideration.
      Although it’s mainly a website for my music, but I will work on restructuring it!
      <3

  2. I’m not sure why but this web site is loading extremely slow for me. Is anyone else having this problem or is it a problem on my end? I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.

  3. Hi! Someone in my Facebook group shared this site with us so I came to take a look. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Terrific blog and excellent design.

  4. Great post, I believe website owners should learn a lot from this blog its really user friendly . “Choose your pleasures for yourself, and do not let them be imposed upon you.” by Lord Chesterfield.

  5. The very next time I read a blog, I hope that it does not fail me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read through, nonetheless I actually believed you’d have something helpful to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of complaining about something that you can fix if you weren’t too busy seeking attention.

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